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Ally Sloper’s Family Takes the Field
On a sunny June afternoon in the year 1888, an unusual cricket team made its appearance in the district. The team was called 'Ally Sloper’s XI' and was composed of a bunch of Maidenhead cricketers. They played a Taplow XI and the match was a very exciting affair. The Maidenhead Advertiser reported the game as follows:
The Maidenhead men styled themselves as members of the Sloparian
family, each dressed in ‘costumes’, wigs, noses and all that was
necessary for the make-up, having been sent from ‘The Sloperies’
free of cost and carriage paid. The novel appearance of Ally and his
team caused much amusement, and the wickets were pitched at three
o’clock. The Sloparians won the toss and batted first. Ally Sloper
(T.Emmett) with his strawberry nose, his bottle of ‘unsweetened’
half-way out of his coat-tail pocket and his tall white hat covering
a bald pate, accompanied by the venerable Mrs Sloper (T. Neighbour)
were the first to open the batting. Ally’s bat being of sufficient
width to cover the wicket. Mrs Sloper’s timbers were shattered by
Wheeler’s third ball and she was succeeded by Aunt Geezer (H. Smith)
who broke her wicket before she had scored. McNab (H. Wiggins)
followed and having saved his duck’s egg was caught out by Lambourne.
The cousin Eveliana (J. Hezeldine) in her attractive costume and with fan
on hand gracefully advanced to the wicket and became Ally’s partner.
Her stay, however, was very brief for Jones made a splendid catch and
sent her back to the pavilion, before she had made a run. Alexandry
(J. Neighbour) in his college hat next tried his luck but was clean bowled
by Fisher for nil, to the vexation of his parent at the opposite wicket.
Uncle Boffin (J. Batts) succumbed to Wheeler when he had gained one run,
but the same bowler's first ball to Iky Moses (J. Warwick) compelled that
player to retract his steps which he good-humouredly did. McGoosley
(D. Forrester) who was a funny character and cut some queer capers, hit
his wicket and contributed a round of 0. Angelina Kaufdrop (J.White),
Mrs Sloper's nurse, now kept Ally company, and Bill Higgins (H. Evans)
took charge of the squalling Jubilee twins which he pushed up and down the
ground in a perambulator. Angelina’s skirts did not retard her progress
when she cut a twoer, but after this she was caught out by Jones. Now
Bill Higgins delivered up the twins and handled the willow and when he
had contributed half-a-dozen runs, Sloper was caught by Godfrey from
a ball by Fisher, having just previously broken the blade of his bat.
Sloper received quite an ovation on returning to the pavilion having
put together 14 of the 26 scored. This was doubtless due to Ally's
occasional attention to his bottle of 'unsweetened'.
The Taplow men, in contrast to this sorry performance, went on to score a handsome 99!